April 18, 2005

Government Thinks You Read Too Much

Ross Mayfield's Weblog: Books Banned on Flights? via Boingboing.

I'd discount this as paranoia, but these days, it's getting harder and harder to discount stuff like this. According to Ross Mayfield, he was told by a TSA employee that current policy is that you can only carry 4 books onto a plane, and soon it will be two.


There's a lot of things that a passenger could carry on a plane, that I would just assume they did not: guns, knives, little children, an alcoholic stupor. And while I'm still a big supporter of banning people from reading material too stupid to possibly be entertaining -- say, the Davinci Code -- I'm unclear as to what the benefits of this new policy would be.

Perhaps the government is worried that we are straining ourselves on airplane flights. "You work too hard", the government is saying, "and don't take enough time off. We want you to put that book down, enjoy the freshly recycled air, smell the artifical roses and the perfume of that woman in 10C. It's good for you."

"But isn't that my choice?" I ask the government.

"Oh, sure. You can read those two measly books you have left. I mean, we wouldn't force you to partake of the in-flight movie (although, you did see it was Pauley Shore and Hillary Duff in a remake of To Kill A Mockingbird, right? That Pauley... he's such a cut-up. 'Bud-deeee'. Hehe!) if you *really* just wanted to read. We just want you to relax and enjoy your flight. Without extra books. Because you read too much."

"But I go through books pretty fast; like, 10 books a week. So these two on a 14 hour flight is really..."

"Well, sure. For a few *freaks* like you, it's a 'burden'. But you geeks just need to get used to the fact that real people don't read. Reading kills brain cells, don't you know? And that's how you got so *freakish*, by reading. So stop it. Just sit on the plane, smell the perfume, watch Pauley, and shut up."


"You want on the plane? You want on *any* plane, ever? Then stop complaining, hand over the books, and shut up."

Yep, it's going to be a fun summer.

Posted by Ted Stevko at April 18, 2005 10:08 AM | TrackBack