I'm at my desk today, and I happen to glance into my garbage can.
"Hey, who put the Healthy Choice(TM, copyright, whatever) in my garbage?"
"It's mine," says a co-worker.
"He's trying to frame you," another opines.
"Me? I'm an UnHealthy choice man. Hamburger cooked in lard and fried."
"Besides, it's better than McDonalds..."
"Really." I pluck the food box out of my garbage and proceed to read. "Noodles baked with stuff, riboflavin, mono and diglycerides, chicken *with chicken flavoring*, mesquite flavoring *and* grill flavoring. What the hell is grill flavoring?"
"Hey," says the non-Healthy-Choice-eating co-worker, "Micky-D's Chicken McNuggets aren't even made from chicken."
"Really?" News to me.
"They are now..." mentions a third co-worker. "There was a lawsuit. They announced it, like, two months back."
We look it up on (get this) McDonald's own web site -- using a domain name stolen in the courts in the early 90s from a guy named "McDonald" -- and find out that in fact, Chicken McNuggets are now chicken. But their sauces... let's just say, the only one that seemed edible was the honey, which was 100% Grade A honey.
Yeah, I skipped lunch today.Posted by Ted Stevko at July 1, 2003 01:59 PM